my daily art talk

Research task

2010-09-17T09:20:00.004+02:00

Yesterday I was in my art studio and I was determined to paint. Because I feel in a dip I had promised myself to allow a lot of experiment while painting. To ensure I could get started without any distractions I enthousiastically prepared everything (paint, brushes, etc.). Then I looked at my half-finished painting and felt right away... nope, it's not going to happen today. I felt a total lack of inspiration. I strongly feel I need to change my direction in some way, but haven't figured out yet what that should be. I know I will be very excited and inspired once I know what I should do. But I also know when I don't have that exciting feeling. Painting is then almost like an ordeal.

I decided not to wait for my inspiration for long, as I knew it was not going to arrive today. So I packed everything up again and decided to task myself with a 3 month research period... yes, that 3 months, that's a long time! This ensures I don't feel in a hurry or pushed and it allows me to explore thoroughly and try different approaches.

Thinking again today about my newly given task I feel very relieved and happy... and suddenly I feel my inspiration and excitement boiling up again. It's raining cats and dogs at this moment and I feel it's a good time to go out on a stroll with my camera to try and capture the falling rain... I can already see paintings coming out of that. But oh yes... this research task will last 3 months, so no time to rush to my paint brushes.

A new town, new people, a new life...

2010-09-06T12:01:00.003+02:00

This morning I smelled autumn in the air. It immediately reminded me of when I had just moved to Amsterdam and cycled to college in the morning. Everything was new to me.... a new town, new people, a new life...

After I have been in the UK and France for the last 5 weeks it almost feels like a new life to me again. It's my first day in my art studio since I am back and I don't know yet where to start and what my plan is. This morning I have been thinking and writing a lot to create room for new inspiration. I feel I need to continue in the direction I am going but I also need to change and improve aspects.

It's difficult to get started so probably the best would be to just start. But my mind is blocking me and my hands are not moving. Time to go for a walk...

Feel-good feedback

2010-07-30T13:10:00.002+02:00

After my blog about rejections it's time for publishing some feel-good feedback. At the entrance of my art show in Folkestone there is a visitors book, that people can write in to provide their contact details and feedback. To my surprise, lots of visitors have taken the effort to provide me with their feedback about my work. Ofcourse I am very flattered by all this feedback and it boosts my confidence - yes I needed some after my previous post! Below a small selection:

"Love the desolation"

"How great is this work excellent work"

"Very haunting night scenes paintings, like the petrol station and the little diner, a bit reminiscent of Edward Hopper's paintings but without people, without lonely people, just empty places..."

"Interesting - strong sense of stillness and isolation. Loved the vans and interiors, lovely colours. Thanks."

"Evocative, still and haunting"

"Heel goed" - yes! a Dutch person who wrote some feedback without revealing his/her nationality :-)

"Desolate, haunting and somewhat unsettling. Good show. Very Dutch in style, clean and fresh"

"Yes it's fearly good, I did enjoy it"

How to best respond to your critics ?

2010-07-14T09:12:00.002+02:00

Why answer that question myself when it's readily available on the web?

http://edwardwinkleman.blogspot.com/2010/07/how-best-to-respond-to-your-critics.html

I like Edward Winkleman, he has written a lot of useful blogs for artists that are keen to find a gallery to represent them.

Rejected

2010-07-07T10:21:00.008+02:00

I think one of the challenges of an artist is to be continuously self-motivated and inspired. We have no boss to tells us when to paint and what to paint, or gives us smart objectives for the coming year. We also do not get regular paychecks. Instead we are a self-employed entrepreneur that choses its own products and marketing strategy. And we only get paid if there is a customer out there that likes our products and decides to pay for it.

The aspect that makes our entrepreneurship a special challenge is the fact we are partly dependent on a very critical and sometimes quite arrogant middle man, called the gallery owner. Our product doesn't get gallery-visiting customers unless the middle man decides it's worth showing to those customers.

In the past few months I have written emails to introduce myself to a small selection of gallery owners (based on whether I thought my work would suit the gallery) in Holland and abroad in my attempt to find a reputable gallery to show my work. Most gallery owners didn't respond to my email... ofcourse it's up to them not to respond, because they never asked for my email in the first place... and they may not want to waste ther time responding to every email they get from artists. And not everybody will appreciate my work, just like I do not appreciate every gallery. Yes, I understand all that.

The gallery owners that didn't respond I emailed again after a couple of months, asking if they still would be happy to provide some feedback on my work. Surprisingly, I received about 6 replies within an hour! All of these were not interested though (as I expected, otherwise they would have responded on my first email I guess).

I started to analyse the kind of responses I got and was able to divide them in the following categories:

- galleries that never respond (also not after my second attempt)

- galleries that respond (after first or second email) and tell me in a few neutral words they are not interested. Some examples:

"Unfortunately we can't offer you anything. I wish you all the best in finding a gallery"

"I am sorry to inform you we don't think your work is suitable for our gallery"

"Thank you for your email but our gallery is not looking for new artists"

- galleries that respond (after first or second email) and tell me in a very blunt/arrogant/frustrated tone that they are not interested. Some examples:

"We don't work with artists that offer their work for sale on their own website. Artists should be dedicated and not sell work themselves if they can't find a gallery"

"I don't like your work"

"These are hard times for galleries, maybe also for you. At the moment we are not going to work with new artists. Unless you are willing to rent the gallery and be responsible for all costs"

- galleries that respond and tell me they are not interested, adding some specific feedback about my work

- galleries that are interested

I Googled "gallery rejection letter" and found a lot more on this topic. Looks like artists (inlcuding myself) need reassuarance from other artists knowing that they are not the only ones that get rejections. Interesting is that the rejections that touched me most were not the blunt rejections... it were the gallery owners that took the time to look at my work more in-depth and provided me with specific feedback on my work.

New art show in Strange Cargo Gallery, Folkestone

2010-05-31T19:36:00.005+02:00

New art show coming up.... come and visit if you happen to be in the neighbourhood !!!

23 July - 4 August 2010

“Memories of Summer”

Strange Cargo Gallery

Georges House

8 The Old High Street

Folkestone CT20 1RL

United Kingdom

Strange Cargo Gallery is situated in the old centre of Folkestone. Many people think about smelly car ferries when they hear about Folkestone but it's actually a very lovely little town that is well worth a visit - and not only because I will have an art show there :-)

The gallery is on a corner and is very bright because of all the large windows it has. Once the leaflet for the art show is ready I will post it on here. I will exhibit mainly small and medium-sized paintings (including lots of new work) with a summer theme...

The making of.... big boy

2010-05-07T14:58:00.002+02:00

The making of.... talking chairs

2010-05-07T14:53:00.003+02:00

New paintings

2010-05-07T14:46:00.003+02:00

I have finished two new paintings. This time I tracked progress by taking photos of each painting at different stages. The reason is that I want to understand what kind of decisions I make in each step of the process. Not that I think painting is a rational exercise... just want to understand a bit more of the working of my right hand side of the brain :-)

I will post the photos of each painting in two seperate posts. The end results are attached below:

talking chairs

oil on canvas

100 x 120 cm

big boy

oil on canvas

100 x 150 cm

My new art studio 2

2010-04-12T19:11:00.016+02:00

My new art studio is up and running! The art studio is divided in 2 seperate spaces of about 2.5m x 6m with west-facing windows. This is my work area.

And this is my exhibition/storage area (sorry - can't get this darn text aligned correctly....!)

My new art studio

2010-04-01T14:14:00.004+02:00

I am waiting to move in to my new art studio in Kruitberg in Amsterdam Zuidoost (in "the Bijlmer"). The art studio is located in the building that was hit by an airplane in 1992, so the building has a bit of a macabre history. This neighbourood is filled with many monotonous high-rise flats that were built in the 60's/70's. The architecture and landscape are unique: the neighbourhood was designed to divide all functions: living, working, shopping, driving, relaxing. All roads were built on a higher level (bridges), to go to your appartment you had to park your car in a garage and then walk or cycle to your appartment. The reason for this landscape design was traffic safety (according to Wikipedia) and I believe they believed people would live a more peaceful life if shops and offices were away from where they lived and relaxed. But the design didn't do much good. Due to the division of functions there was a lack of social control, which made it unsafe. The area became very unattractive, middle class families moved away and were replaced by illegal immigrants.

The first time I visited the Bijlmer in the 80's many flats were run down, rubbish and garbage bags were everywhere and lifts smelled of urine. I actually even lived near Kruitberg for a short while in 1992 when the plane crash happened... but I moved back to the "city" soon. It was too far away from everything and the area really needed to be revamped. Although I have to say I really enjoyed the multi-cultural atmosphere that breathes throughout this area and miss that a bit where I live now. After the plane crash the council decided to redesign large parts of the Bijlmer. The division of functions has largely been abandoned and many high rise flats of the 60's have been replaced by low rise appartment blocks.

The high-rise flats have a monotonous look, but they provide a special atmosphere. The area surrounding my art studio is really a lot different from where I live in the centre. When you walk out of the metro station you immediately see a big white mosque. Across the street is a shoping centre with many shops selling stuff from far-away countries.... My inspiration is already triggered, can't wait to unpack my stuff there and get started!

Change

2009-12-29T16:02:00.003+01:00

I feel I need to develop my work again. Every now and then I come to a point where I feel my paintings start to look boring and to paint them is starting to be probably even more boring. I have come to that point again.

After painting the woman eating an ice cream (for a draft see one of my previous posts) I concluded I definitely don't want to paint people for a while anymore. In the work I created in the 90's the human figure was the main topic of each painting -by default. Not surprising, as I was exploring how appearance of the human body has an impact on myself and the viewer. For some reason it's very tempting to fall back into old habits. That's why I probably painted the woman eating an ice cream. It was (still) fun painting it, because I proved myself how I had improved my painting skills over the years. But after it was finished and I was about to paint a man eating an ice cream (to form a set with the painting of the woman) I just couldn't get started. The thought of painting that painting suddenly felt like an extremely boring task, as if it was factory line work. It took me almost 3 months to get started (I admit the summer job I did didn't help me to get more inspiration) and then when I finally started I soon realised it was never going to be something.

At the same time I was inspired by empty bars after repeatedly visiting one near my home in Amsterdam. The bar made me think of paintings of Hopper and even Vincent van Gogh. An empty bar has something magic, it triggers all kinds of feelings and creates a strange atmosphere. So I decided to start working on a series of empty bars. At the same time, I decided to change some of my habits in the way I paint - a painting can only come to live when you can tell it's painted with a lot of pleasure and excitement, regardless of the topic or theme. To avoid the factory line feeling I decided that I was allowed to paint using different techniques and less realistic (just a tiny bit less because I can't help loving realistic paintings).

To be honest, change is not easy. I remember trying tons of different styles and techniques with ease when I was in art school. But now that I have formed my style or trade mark, it is not easy to let that go. It's even scary. I feel like I am almost like a business that needs to change its strategy to stay competitive. For me it's not because I need to stay competitive in a certain market.... I was never competitive (hardly sold anything this year, I think I need to look for a mecenas). It's because I need to keep inspiring myself.

Press review Salon Parkstad

2009-12-22T10:25:00.003+01:00

My mum send me a copy of the regional newspaper Limburgs Dagblad... my name and work is mentioned - unfortunately in Dutch, but you may recognise my name and the picture of one of my paintings. My mum said she gets a lot of comments about it from people she knows... unfortunately many of them don't seem to like my "depressing" theme. Poor mum... nevertheless she defends my artistic direction and she is very proud of me (and so is my dad)!

My own loop hole

2009-12-18T10:17:00.004+01:00

Do you ever get locked up in your own loop hole, knowing you are the only one that can get you out of it? I was - the past couple of weeks. I wanted to restart a set of paintings I started (but not finished) earlier this year. The thought of it was already very uninspiring but I forced myself to do it anyway. Not suprising - it didn't work. I realised I wasn't enjoying painting these paintings at all. Don't know why exactly but I didn't like the topic anymore and I didn't like what I had painted so far.

I read an article about giving yourself permission to think or do things out of the box. The article itself didn't tell me anything new but it was the last push I needed. So I thought again about the topics and images I like to paint and very quickly I was able to set up a draft for a new painting. And I am enthousiastic again, can't wait to start today!

Will probably kill those uninspiring paintings one of these days....

Opened yesterday: Salon Parkstad Heerlen

2009-12-14T14:55:00.004+01:00

Three of my paintings are on display at this group art show... see also http://www.glaspaleis.nl/1056/pers/salon-parkstad-beeldende-kunst-uit-parkstad/_news/358 (in Dutch).

Coming up: art show at Galerie Charlotte Lugt, Amsterdam

2009-08-29T12:25:00.001+02:00

My first painting

2009-07-25T11:47:00.009+02:00

Last week I read an article in De Witte Raaf, a Belgian art newspaper about the "first painting" of a (any) famous artist, and what criteria to use to determine it. I found the paper in a cafe and I already had a few beers when I started reading it so I might have missed the clue. But as far as I remember (or I am making it up now, for the sake of this blog), the most important criteria is that the first painting should mark the start of an own, individual style and expression. I was struck by a painting displayed from Andy Warhol dating back to 1949 (date might be incorrect), so he must have been about 21 and just having finished art school. It's a painting of a living room. Nowhere near the style of the silk screen prints he did in the 70's but painted with so much drive and compassion. I tried to find the painting on the Internet but couldn't find it.

I started thinking about my childhood drawings and paintings. I have a photo of me working with concentration in a colouring book. I have few drawings and yes, even a few paintings, one of a windmill and one of a horse. But of course they were just childhood drawings and paintings, but these were really my first paintings. I guess these paintings didn't fit into the criteria and didn't mark the start of my own, individual style and expression. But I have always been me so the roots to the individual expression and style I developed must have already been there.

I think I really developed my own style in the last 2 years of art school... I started to paint quite realistic and the topics were always a bit provoking and/or alienating. My first painting according to the criteria mentioned earlier must have been painted in this period. I just scrolled through the photos of my paintings of this period and identified the one I feel is my first painting... it's a teenage girl sitting naked on her bed, with posters of horses hanging on the wall behind her. I was intrigued by the topic because I wanted to paint something that would embarrass the viewer, but most of all embarrass myself. It's a painting of showing all my vulnerability to the world...

I think that's the key feature of every artist - showing all of your vulnerable self , your sensible emotions, all those things you'd rather keep to yourself. But you can't help wanting to share it with anyone, because not alone do you want to say something about yourself but most of all hold a mirror up to the world and let them look at themselves....

An evening walk with my dog

2009-07-11T13:15:00.004+02:00

Yesterday evening, after I came home from my temporary job (yep... my art does not sell well enough - yet!) I took my dog Flopa for a walk. I bumped into a demonstration organised at a square nearby. It was a protest against a new law of the Amsterdam council which states that you can only drink alcohol outside when you sit down. Yes - it sounds quite ridiculous. Maybe the next law introduced will be that you can only drink while doing a handstand?

Anyway, Flopa had a lot of fun begging for beers, and she barked at the empty bin bags hanging on the light poles because usually they are not there. And I got a free beer from the organisers. So I sticked around for a while, but the music was quite awful... it was famous Dutch DJ Van Bellen who did a surprise-show, but I guess I am getting too old for this type of music ?! Or maybe I've heard too much of this already, because the neighbour of my art studio always plays this type of music really loud (I used to have two similar neighbours but thank god one moved in with his girlfriend)?

It's weird though, thinking about it. Can you ever be too old for a type of music really? Can you ever be too old for a type of art? I don't think so... I think it's a matter of taste. But when you get older, you tend to hang around with people of a different age group. And therefore you come in contact with different types of music (or art, or anything) than when you hang around with say 16 year-olds. I think your taste is influenced by what you come in contact with. Everything, your entire being is influenced by that really. Teenagers speak almost a different language, they use words, phrases and sayings I never heard of. And Eskimos have 20 different words for snow. That's why artists travel for example, to broaden their view and to explore new sources for inspiration. My current temp job also provides me a different view to the world. It's good to be outside my art studio for a short while. It helps me relativate things and put life temporary into a different context. But I can't wait to go back.

My art studio

2009-06-20T13:46:00.005+02:00

I always get inspired by photos of art studios (see for example Artnewsblog) ... so here's mine, in case it might inspire you!

The large painting I am working on is almost finished now. Funny enough, I bumped into the respective lady yesterday while I was having a beer on a terrace! We talked about the weather and of course then the ice cream shop is a nice next topic to deepen the conversation. She assured me that she hardly ever eats ice creams(yeah right, I've got eternalised evidence!) and it takes her 4 days to finish a chocolate bar... she's a bit like me!

Exhibition at Cafe Bern

2009-06-06T14:09:00.003+02:00

Just came back from hanging my prints and paintings on the wall at Cafe Bern, where my work made in the 90's will be exhibited from today (6 June) until 29 August. I did some Googling this morning to see if this opening is being announced on some websites. I found this article on a local news website - it's based on the press information I had sent to the organiser of this art show, who is the owner of Chiellerie gallery (I quickly translated it with Babelfish... although I corrected all weird translations it may still contain some style errors!):

Unique exhibition of print work of artist Martine Pieck in Cafe Bern on the Nieuwmarkt.

During the summer period Chiellerie will exhibit a selection of prints and paintings of Martine Pieck (1967) in Cafe Bern at the Nieuwmarkt in Amsterdam. The work exhibited descends all from 1990s but has been never exhibited before. Many paintings, etches, litho's and linoleum prints from this period express desire and incapacity as reoccurring subject. Locked up in the body of an animal the world of the represented subject has been restricted to doing tricks or to the seizure of a loved one.

In this work one can clearly see a run-up to her later theme, where she focused on adolescence, sexuality and social acceptance. This exhibition lasts from Saturday 6 June till Saturday 29 August during regular opening hours. Opening: Saturday 6 June 16.00 hr (free welcome drink till 17.30)

Yes! Free drinks... so please all come and join!

The never ending discussion of... what is Art?

2009-05-19T19:35:00.015+02:00

Last friday I visited ArtAmsterdam, a yearly art fair that has some prestige... probably mostly among the rich and (wanna-be-)famous amongst us. Queen Beatrix of The Netherlands even did the ceremonial opening! I hadn't been there for a while so the first thing I noticed was a lot of people in posh clothes that looked like they were there to be seen, not to see (the art work). Also all gallery owners looked quite posh and unapproachable, so my brave intentions to have a chat with owners of galleries I liked went down the drain right away...

Anyway, while I carried around a small but heavy bunch of my postcards/flyers wearing scruffy clothes, I browsed the art fair. Some work exhibited was nice, or interesting (I like for example Jan Ros, Moritz Hasse and some work of Lara de Moor) ... but many of the works were quite disappointing. I believe you can debate endlessly whether an art work should be worthwhile enough to show on a prestigious art fair or not... and I know it's more than just excitement, nice looking, thought-provoking or originality. But sometimes I do wonder.

Interesting fact was that the winner of the Thieme Art Award (prize for the most promising artist of the fair) soon after the announcement appeared to be not so original after all. Apparently, he had copied photos of photographers Michael Wolf and Tjebbe Beekman. For more information, see the news article (unfortunately in Dutch, but you can see an example of what he copied). For this reason, Gijs van Lith has been accused for commiting plagiarism. In an interview, the artist admitted he uses photos of others for his work, but only for inspiration. I think it's an intersting discussion, because I believe many painters use photos as inspiration or a starting point for their paintings, including myself. Why can't we use modern technology that belongs to our time to create our paintings? Or do we still have to take our easel outside, like for example Vincent van Gogh, if we want to paint a landscape or object located outside? Or do we at least have to take the photographs ourselves instead of using Google Images that are readily available and saves us some trips around the world? I have never followed all discussions around this topic, but there are many discussions going on as far as I am aware. I remember the recent case of LA street artist Shepard Fairy who painted an abstract version of a photo of Obama (the picture that became famous during his campaign), and that he got sued by Associated press for copyright infringement. Associated Press lost the case.

This discussion may boil down to the basic question: so when is something original, and thus (?) an artistic expression in itself and when not? Where do you draw the line? Or even more basic: when is something art? It makes me feel excited because isn't that a discussion that's as old as the word (or concept) "art", and that keeps popping up over and over again? It would be great to join this discussion, of which many may feel every word is said already...

Looking for brilliant ideas

2009-05-13T16:22:00.005+02:00

So many brilliant ideas in this world, why didn't I think about them?! Today I found a blog and tweet written on behalf of a cat, see: http://twitter.com/sockington and http://www.sockington.org/. Or what about: http://doineedanumbrella.com/.

It's as simple as f*ck! You might want to debate the cultural value of it... but it works, because it attracts a big audience (good old Sockington already has more than 480,000 followers on Twitter) so there's a demand for it.

As an artist I am sometimes thinking about how I can reach a bigger audience (preferably with something simple), without making a comprimise that is morally or ethically too big for me. I am convinced good ideas can't be consciously invented, I think they are most often a product of coincidental discovery (either suddenly or after a long time of exploration)... OK, I am sure there is not just one theory about it and my personal theory hasn't been challenged yet, but this way it would probably work for me.... right now.

On another note, today the gallery owner of Galerie Charlotte Lugt (http://galeriecharlottelugt.nl/) visited my art studio and she said she was very impressed. She said she wishes to work with me, so that's great news! To be continued...

Stories from Geuzenveld

2009-05-07T15:03:00.013+02:00

The gallery owner who was supposed to visit my art studio didn't show up... she called later to apologise and will now come next week. I cleaned my art studio this morning (so that at least she wouldn't hesitate to use my toilet if needed or to decline my offer for a cup of coffee...) That was a bit a waste of time now, but I must admit it's quite nice to have a tidy and nice smelling art studio!

Yesterday my blog was posted on the website of the Stedelijk Museum. Since it was written in Dutch, here is my translation in English:

Stories from Geuzenveld* as inspiration for artist Martine Pieck

With the words "Inspire artist Martine Pieck" we tried to lure local residents into the construction barrack of the Stedelijk Museum Amsterdam on Wednesday 29 April and make them tell a story about themselves. The intention was that these stories would form the inspiration of paintings which I would will make afterwards in my studio.

It was beautiful spring weather, so we decided to put the tables and chairs outside. Many people walked past curiously, but only from time to time someone stopped to ask what we were doing. The few individuals that dared to stop by we told about the construction barrack, the reason why it was on the square and what activities were planned for the afternoon. And in addition, we asked if they wouldn't mind to sit down for a bit to tell their story. This way I managed to have a chat with a variety of local residents… from naughty young football players to ladies of a respectable age.

Most of people started telling spontaneously…. about the neighbourhood, the things to do in this neighbourhood, how the area has changed over the years. Apparently, the square (called "Plein 40-45", this is where the construction barrack was located) is a central place for all these people, for several reasons. One is attracted by the cosy and quality open air market, while someone else likes to simply hang around, meet friends or to look at to people. This way the square bonds all these very different people, even though they are not aware or might not feel that themselves.

All stories inspired me tremendously to make new series of paintings. The neighbourhood is alive, the energy which can be derived from the stories of the local residents show this! I hope I will be able to organise an exhibition in Amsterdam West coming autumn of all paintings that I have made as a result of the stories I listened to in the construction barrack .

* Post-war neighbourhood in Amsterdam West

Iterative cycle of excitement,frustration, anger, almost giving up, and then suddenly amazement

2009-05-04T14:27:00.003+02:00

Every painting I considered successfull has always been an iterative cycle of excitement, frustration, anger, almost giving up, and then suddenly amazement ... followed by excitement, and then cycle repeats itself lots of times before the painting is finished. This morning when I walked into my art studio I looked at my work-in-progress and was quite amazed... it looked even much better than I thought yesterday! I got excited to continue with it but soon after I started and had added a few things I felt frustrated. I feel like I have been fighting the canvas most of the day... Currently I am at the almost-giving-up step, so I decided to give myself a small break.

At the opening of my art show I was talking to another artist about how even your own paintings can surprise you because you suddenly see or feel things in them you never intentionally created. For me, creating a painting is not a rational process... it may start with some rational thoughts but it starts leading its own life once I put the first lick of paint on my canvas. Ofcourse I have a vision in mind about what the end-result of a painting should be (because that's where the initial excitement to start a painting comes from), but that vision always gets fine-tuned during my creation of the painting. I shape the image as long as I feel something needs to be shaped. Sometimes the re-shaping can be quite rational, for example because I see it's out of proportion or anatomically incorrect. But often I just feel it should be different, even though I don't know yet how it should be.... I re-shape until I feel it's right.

It feels great to analyse my own work process, in particular in order to get out of the almost-giving-up step I am in now. Let me have another look at the easel and see what I feel... Hmmmm it looks a bit naf. But now I think I see what to do about it.

By the way, when I consider a painting is finished, it's always in the amazement step... I think.

Small moment of happiness

2009-05-02T22:25:00.000+02:00

I worked on the next layer of my new paintings. Easier said than done. I had a clear view about what to do but when I did it, it looked like crap. I got irritated, was disappointed, felt hopeless.

I tried different things, painted layer after layer. After a while I got tired so I decided to give one of the paintings one more try and then quit for the day. I made big strokes with my 'toilet brush' and that's when it happened. I changed something small and suddenly I created a new view for myself on what to do with my paintings. Next I created a second layer for another two paintings and after that was able to clean my brushes with a lot of satisfaction.... A small moment of happiness.
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Reflection list

2009-05-01T21:08:00.001+02:00

What happened in the past 48 hours if my life:
- I participated in the Bouwkeet on Tour programme of the Stedelijk museum Amsterdam: I had very interesting conversations with naughty Moroccan boys and Dutch elderly ladies
- I sold a lot of junk and cups of coffee on Queensday, with which I earned enough money to buy a few rounds at the bar
- I had to stop my partner from selling hard liquor when coffee started to get less attractive to our customers
- I heard about the drama that happened in Apeldoorn but didn't see any of the shocking photos or footage until the next morning
- I did some admin work this morning and enjoyed a sunny afternoon this afternoon
- I had some moments of doubt today about how to start and/or continue with my artist career...

Going to continue with my new paintings tomorrow. The first layer will be dry enough by then.

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Ice cream

2009-04-28T18:48:00.005+02:00

Today I read an article about most mistakes starting bloggers make in the first year. I thought I would have done all of them already in 1 week, but actually it wasn't that bad. Then I googled on "blogger" and "mistake" - apparently many people have his / her own theories about the mistakes people make. I guess those people that took the effort to write about blogger's mistakes all have been reading a lot of blogs and all got bored or irritated about some type of blogs and decided to write a post about it. Anyway, from now on I will do my utmost not to bore or irritate experienced blog readers :-)

I have been painting some first layers for my new set of paintings today. I started painting ice cream vans, inspired by my previous caravans, but maybe unconsciously also because we live accross an ice cream shop. Since March the shop is open almost every day and people queue up from afternoon until closing time to buy ice cream. Many people eat their ice cream in front of the shop, so we can see them eating their ice cream from our living room. It's quite a horrible thing to look at... honestly, seeing people eating ice cream is not nice... you can see them lick, poke, gulp and swallow, it's almost like you see them doing something they should keep private.

We have now identified the following types of ice cream eaters:

- the philosopher: eats the ice cream with great care, trying not to take too big bites and eats it slowly

- the gulper: eats very fast, takes firm big licks and hardly ever spills

- the damage controller: checks continuously for potential drips and licks those first

- the twirler: every lick is like a gracious twirl

- the cock sucker: puts the entire ice cream in the mouth and even moves it up and down

Painting killed with toilet brush - can you figure out which one?

2009-04-27T21:01:00.001+02:00

Today I started making the first sketches for some new series of paintings. I decided to continue with the street lights theme, but to work more with light and shade. The light was a recommendation from Andrei Roiter (www.andreiroiter.com), a Russian artist who works and lives in Amsterdam and whose work I admire very much.

In December last year I helped him one day as a studio assistant. I was bored with my freelance IT job and wanted to do something in an inspiring environment. I thought I could never be an artist again because I thought I lacked the ambition. But that day I worked with him I knew instantly I didn't want to paint for someone else, I wanted to paint for myself! In fact, this was the trigger for me to start again. After that one day in his studio I felt I had to tell him right away I didn't want to continue. I was in my "trial period" - he had invited a few people to work with him 2-3 times as a studio assistant before he was going to take a decision who to pick. So I don't know whether or not he was going to pick me in the end. I wrote him (actually to his wife who did all the communication) an email telling this wasn't for me but could not yet express exactly why, I was still in some kind of a thinking mode. One day before the opening of my art show 10 days ago I wrote another email to confess my turning point. I got an email back saying they were very pleased to hear what happened and they even visited my art show.

I asked for his professional feedback during his visit, and one of his comments was to work more with light. So I am going to experiment with that - don't want to end up making Hopper clones so need to ensure I stick to (or develop if you will) my own style. He also adviced to use a bigger brush sometimes, so I bought one the size of a decent toilet brush.... Yes I am an obedient feedback-receiver :-)

Anyway, besides the street lights I also decided to develop further some other themes. I am going to make a few smaller paintings first (50 x 60 cm). I hate small, but it's good for "theme development" because it works quicker (less surface to cover in any case!). I also did something some painters probably never think about doing ever-ever: I killed a painting! One painting that I even exhibited at my art show I really didn't like.... Too bland and not very exciting. So I decided to cover it up today with a new under-layer for a new painting - yes I used my new toilet brush!

Leave a comment if you know which painting I killed - it's a puzzle but with some help from Google you may be able to find out.....

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An end and a new beginning

2009-04-23T20:35:00.003+02:00

Yesterday a famous Dutch author named Martin Bril died of cancer, he was only 49. It makes me scared... That's only 7 years away from my age. Knowing that this could happen to anyone this confirms again for me that I really should do with my life what I really enjoy and that I should do what really inspires me...

Sounds all like an open door, or not? But how much do we listen to these open doors in general? Or maybe we think we do listen at it but we really don't. I don't know really, all I know is that I do hear it but I don't listen to it... Not often at least. I tend to follow those things I am conmfortable with, and I am limited by fear. (To be continued for sure!)

On another note -
Yesterday I got an email from a gallery-owner saying she's interested in seeing my work in my art studio (after my partner spammed her with emails). So the week after next week we have an appointment! I have no expectations yet, it's just good to know my work is being appreciated. And I would like to experience what's it like to have a studio visit by a gallery owner. I have a few more things coming up actually - another art show, of my prints created in the 90's, in cafe Bern in Amsterdam. I am not very keen on hanging work in cafe's, but my prints would suit well there. In addition, next week I have a 2-hr workshop in the Bouwkeet (it's like a little mobile promotion trailer) of the Stedelijk Museum of Amsterdam (comparable to the MoMa of New York, just a bit smaller and probably a bit less famous in the world). The Stedelijk Museum is closed at the moment, because it's being refurbished. To ensure they stay visible within the community they have launched this Bouwkeet, which will travel to different parts of the city in the next few months. At this workshop, locals of a less affluent neighbourhood will tell their stories "to inspire me"... I will make notes and draw sketches, and people can join me if they like to. Yes that's all it is. After that I will create paintings based on their stories. I am still looking for a venue to exhibit this work-to-be after the summer, any suggestions? And last but not least a gallery run by artists in Amsterdam called Galerie Storm is interested in me to join their gallery. Going to meet the coordinator in the gallery this saturday.

This week I have been very busy with follow-ups and PR, to take full advantage of the art show I had last week. But today my fingers started to itch again, I am full of new ideas so will start painting again tomorrow. New themes.... New topics... Can't wait!

By the way - in yesterday's blog I wrote about sense of reality and if this is influenced by age (or anything for that matter).... An interesting topic I will surely come back to soon!

Trigger for creativity

2009-04-22T21:23:00.003+02:00

It seems that the older you get the more you get worried about money. I remember when I was in my 20's and was attending art school I hardly earned a penny and was dependent on gifts that my parents donated to pay for my tuition. But I had no worries about my financial situation or future financial prospects. I wasn't worried how I was going to pay for my living in a year's time, I just lived by the day and I guess I believed in myself that I would cope somehow.

So much has changed over the past 20 years. I again hardly earn a penny but today at some days I get worried quite a bit sometimes, for example about how I am going to pay for my living in 3 (!) year's time. I even created a spreadsheet the other day to see how long my savings and ample earnings would last until I would be completely bankrupt (I added formulas so that I could play with different scenarios). After a good nights sleep or a beer or two that fear usually evaporates, but it pops up every now and then again.

I wonder why I wasn't worried so much when I was in my twenties.... Was I just naïve (if yes, what a blessing!)? Or did I believe more in myself, that I would manage no matter what (if yes, what is it I don't believe in anymore currently)? Or has life experience given me more a sense of reality (if yes, is this real reality or just the reality of a 41-year old)?

Sometimes I read that these kind of worries are a good trigger for creativity, artistic explosions (not sure how true this theory is). Maybe that's why I didn't have the inspiration to put a lick of paint on a canvas in the past 10 years. Let me think about it.....

Hello blog-world, here I am !

2009-04-21T19:52:00.009+02:00

A few days ago I couldn't sleep. I was too excited about my exhibition which just had started. You know those nights where you can't sleep... You start thinking about of trivial things and make a huge issue out of every single one of them. Or you get all these brilliant ideas which you have forgotten by the time you get up, or of which you think in the morning... nah, it's not so brilliant after all. Or, if you still believe in the ideas at that point, your partner says: "that's stupid".

Well, I had a few ideas I still remembered that morning. Two ideas I shared with my partner, but was put off by the responses. So the third idea I kept to myself: starting a blog. While awake that night I had written a few blogs in my mind - about myself (a small biography even), about my art work and also a lot of inspiring things I unfortunately had forgotten in the morning. I have been thinking about starting a blog before, but I just wasn't sure if I would have enough inspiration to write interesting things on a regular basis, even if they were just for myself to read and to keep like a diary. But that night I suddenly was sure that I have a need to write things down, to put my thoughts in order and to share these with whoever is interested. So here I am, starting as of today!

One question I was asking myself is: should I introduce myself, tell something about my background, history, life? I decided it's not needed... my blogs will reveal who I am and will tell parts of my history, background and life whenever relevant. You can find a small preview about me in my profile. I am sure my profile will change in the future, along with the blogs I have posted...